When You're Raising Grandchildren, Start With the Next Question

Kenneth and I are raising our nine-year-old twin granddaughters. Their daddy was our youngest son, Patrick. He died before they were born.

Our family's story is our own, but I know we aren't the only grandparents whose days look very different from what they expected.

There are children to get to school. Papers to find. Questions you didn't know you would need to ask. You may be trying to figure out your next step while keeping an ordinary day moving.

You don't have to work out the whole future before you do the next thing.

Give your questions somewhere to go

Find a notebook or a folder and keep it where you can reach it. When a question comes up, write it down. You can come back to it instead of trying to hold every detail in your head.

Beside each question, leave room for a name, a phone number, and what you learn. If someone says they will call you back, write down who you spoke with and when.

Start with the question that affects your day right now. It might be about a school form or who to contact for a particular record. If it involves a legal or medical decision, take it to a qualified professional who can look at your family's situation.

A place for the papers, too

Keep the information you're given together. You may need to refer to it again, and it helps to know where it is. Store children's personal records somewhere private and secure.

This won't answer every question. It can make the next conversation a little easier.

That is why I created Welcome Home

Welcome Home is a free working companion for grandparents raising grandchildren. It's meant to be used. Keep it with your papers. Write in it. Come back when the next question shows up.

You can request your copy on the Welcome Home page.

And if you want a place to bring the real questions, Grandparents Called to Parent is our community around the guide. You don't have to have everything figured out to join us.

Some days, finding the person to ask is a good place to start.